Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been a creative person. I have a range of hobbies, such as painting, journaling, book scrapping, music, and even some needlework. In the digital world, I’ve had numerous blogs, online shops, social media profiles, dashboards, and YouTube channels.

And yet, I have a feeling that I’m building nothing.

It always follows the same pattern: I have a new, great idea, get all excited about it, spend hours planning the concept, and then labor for weeks or months creating and perfecting it. The project becomes my main focus—I think about it constantly. It consumes all my time. I work on it on weekends and at night, and I set out to keep the project going for a long time. And then, all of a sudden, I lose interest. It becomes a burden and no longer brings me joy. The ambitious plan to create something great is now nothing but a chore.

And then I abandon it—until the next idea comes along, and I start all over again.

I’ve been feeling this way about this blog. It started as a personal blog, then morphed into a reading journal, and eventually the Read the World Challenge became my main focus. I wrote dozens of posts and book reviews. I created and re-created entire sections about world literature. But when I got my new job, I no longer had time to write blog posts.

My new job has been consuming a lot of my mental space and energy, and I’m still adapting to this new reality. I feel both overwhelmed and ecstatic about my work. It feels like the perfect job for me, and I love every minute of it. I’m constantly thinking about it—even when I’m not at work, I’m planning new visualizations, dashboards, and data solutions. Sound familiar?

In a way, my new job has become my latest creative obsession. Which is great, if you think about it—I’m actually getting paid to let my creative juices flow. But at the same time, it makes it hard to disconnect. I feel like my brain is constantly switched on.

The good news is that I’m taking a break—we’re going camping in a few days. We’re also going to disconnect from the grid, and I’ll try to stay away from my phone as much as possible.

I’ve been thinking about all of this because yesterday I read an amazing book that I really wanted to review—There Are Rivers in the Sky by Elif Shafak. The book is so good that she’s now been added to my list of favorite authors, alongside names like Isabel Allende and Margaret Atwood. I had so much to say about this book—and yet no time or energy to write about it.

And so it feels like this new great project—the world literature blog—is never going to become the big encyclopedia I had envisioned. My online presence will likely stay as it is because I don’t have the energy to promote the blog or engage with other bloggers.

Which leads me to the question: why am I even creating things? With every new online project, I feel this need to build something big—whether a new online business or a large digital presence. But I’m constantly changing topics, and the lack of consistency is the biggest enemy of social media growth. Instead of spending 15 years building one big channel, I’ve divided my energy into several short-lived efforts in different directions. I also feel like I’m deceiving people—building up momentum and then dropping things. I feel like a fraud.

If my main creative goal is to build a digital empire, then I’ve failed miserably. But should that really be my goal? Deep down, I feel that creating is a lifestyle for me. I create because I need to. I do get a hit of dopamine from looking at a finished product, but most of all, I get joy from the creative process itself. As an Aries, my drive comes from initiating new things—once projects start to feel old, they no longer excite me.

So there it is. I create, therefore I am.

I’ll try to create just for the joy of it—no strings attached. The content on this blog might look different from what it was; I have no idea where it’s going from here. But that’s why I have this tagline: This blog is as diverse as my life has been.

I hope you enjoy it.